For the past couple of months I have been finding my way, experiencing new joys, and fallen at God's feet. I tried to spend most of my time there, but unfortunately, due to my human superpowers, I would walk away only to find myself walking back, and quickly.
I am beginning to learn to see the positive side of life, to count my daily joys, and slow down to watch it all happen. Sometimes the ugly shows up, and I crawl through it the best I can remembering that tomorrow is a brand new day with no mistakes in it. (Thank you, Anne of Green Gables!)
I have been absent here due to many welcomed distractions that often filled my heart with gladness but left me exhausted all at the same time.
As tiring as it was sometimes, we did welcome these distractions and new experiences due to our struggle with infertility the past 3 years. This past few months, it finally came to a head and completely shattered our lives.
We have picked up the pieces, as small as they are, and with God's guidance and giving thanks, have experienced new opportunities, learned valuable lessons, and have been given strength for each day.
Ann Voskamp's One Thousand Gifts has helped a lot in this. I have been wooed by God in her book, devotions, and blog.
Finding the little things on a daily basis and giving thanks does help the heart grow fuller.
I am finally learning the joys of life. It has taken this long and I have so much to learn. I am so thankful for this time and the opportunities that I have been blessed with, the love and strength of our marriage, and dancing in God's grace.
It truly is a beautiful feeling amidst the darkness that is looming behind us.
I have so much to share with you - welcomed distractions as well as our story of beauty and grace.
Thank goodness that today will be my last day as a school counselor. Tomorrow, I start a whole new job for ten glorious weeks - a housewife!
I love you!!! It's hard to believe it's been 3 months, but know that we are praying for you every day, and hopeful that one day soon — you will hold a precious baby in your arms. We were meant to be mothers! Enjoy your summer job!!
ReplyDelete"Sometimes the ugly shows up, and I crawl through it the best I can remembering that tomorrow is a brand new day with no mistakes in it."
ReplyDeleteI needed to read this. Thank you.
Oh Haven, my heart breaks for you. I will definitely keep you in our prayers.
ReplyDeleteI love Jesus Calling. This one this week really struck a cord.
"I, the Creator of the universe, am with you and for you. What more could you need? When you feel some lack, it is because you are not connecting with Me at a deep level. I offer abundant Life; your part is to trust Me, refusing to worry about anything.
It is not so much adverse events that make you anxious as it is your thoughts about those events. Your mind engages in efforts to take control of a situation, to bring about the result you desire. Your thoughts close in on the problem like ravenous wolves. Determined to make things go your way, you forget that I am in charge of your life. The only remedy is to switch your focus from the problem to My Presence. Stop all your striving, and watch to see what I will do. I am the Lord!"
I'm having one of those weeks where I'm reading this one over and over. :-) God has a plan. I just wish there was a fast forward button for you!
PS. I'm verrrrry jealous about the new job. I wish I could find one of those openings!
ReplyDeleteI love ya'll both so much sister. Thankful for your heart and faith. Glad to see you back!
ReplyDeleteHaven as always you touch my heart! You are such an amazing person and I am so blessed and RICH to have know you! Always sending you much love, hugs and prayers! Hope to see you at Teacher Tuesday some this year!
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